Rescuing my phone from Parker for the tenth time, I looked down to see my period tracker app open.
8 days late.
I immediately panic. My mind whizzing with a million thoughts. A baby now.. definitely not good timing!
5 minutes pass and all of a sudden the panic starts to drift away. A baby now.. how lovely would that be?
Those precious newborn days. Sibling love growing again. The experience of labour and birth again...
I can't help but get excited!
I told Jack not long after. Surprised to find that he wasn't actually that worried either. We could totally manage this, couldn't we? We carried on our day. Conversations flowing about due dates and how we would work it out.
We made a trip to Sainsbury's together to buy a test. The excitement was really building now!
Rushing home I couldn't wait to do it. Who knew peeing on a little stick could be such fun?
3 minutes to wait
I'm not pregnant.
I should probably feel happy. It wouldn't have been good timing, and we aren't prepared for another just yet.
But I don't.
My period finally showed up today, 10 days late. A final kick in the teeth that I'm not pregnant.
But all I can think about, is the baby that never was.