But I am.
I have postnatal depression and anxiety.
And I'm not going to be ashamed to talk about it. Because it's actually incredibly common, and there is no way I should feel embarrassed about it!
I was probably a bit nieve though. This was my third pregnancy. Our third baby. A little girl who we had planned for and were oh so excited to meet.
I had an whirlwind labour, but it was still incredibly positive. We were home within a few hours and settled into life with three little ones rather well I think. Well, apart from those pesky 'baby blues' that hit around 3-5 days (they were bloody awful this time around).
But that passed and I thought all was going well. We were in a good routine, and I was coping pretty well with life as a mama of three. Of course there was difficult moments, we did have a newborn after all. But it was nothing we couldn't handle!
But then 6 weeks came.
And the big black cloud appeared. Along with the panic. And dread. And fear.
I broke, and it was terrifying.
I am so thankful to have an incredibly supportive husband and family though. I was also lucky to recognise that things were not right quite quickly too. Talking to my doctor, and starting on antidepressants, and looking for support in other ways as soon as I could.
It's almost been a month since the cloud arrived, and I can't say it's completely passed yet. I know that this is going to be a long and incredibly hard journey. But I also know that I can get through this. And I will feel like my true self one day soon.
I am so incredibly lucky to have three beautiful children, and the most supportive husband and family. I also cannot thank everyone enough for all the love and support I have received through social media too. It really does mean the world! Thank you xxx
