Recently I've been thinking a lot about my labours. How different they were, and how I coped with each. I thought it would be interesting to write about my and others experiences, so that other second time mums-to-be can see a little bit more what to expect; although I'm very aware this is just individual experiences.

When I was pregnant with Parker I will admit now I was absolutely terrified. Not about having a newborn, or having two under two. But about the labour itself. I never found anything to read that gave me reassurance. I was adamant I was going to have a labour just like my first.

If you've been reading for a while you'll know I didn't have the easiest of labours with Indiana. I thought I was one of the lucky ones when my contractions started on my due date. However what I didn't expect was to still be in labour 32 hours later! My contractions weren't doing their job and I eventually ended up on the drip, and had to have help with a ventouse delivery. My recovery was also very hard, and very long.

Parker's birth didn't end up as I expected though. At less than 5 hours long and completely natural (apart from gas & air) it was the complete opposite! Also despite a 2nd degree tear, my recovery was much quick and I felt back to myself within a few days.

So why do I think my second experience was so much better?

• With Indiana I was told to expect a longer labour. Your cervix has to go from long to short, which takes a lot of time. I was told by my midwife that any subsequent births are usually quicker, as your body knows what to do (and therefore does this part a lot faster).

This was taken on the 4th August at 10am - by 9.30pm Parker was born!

• I knew what to expect this time. I knew what my waters breaking felt like (and what to do when they did). I knew what was a 'real' contraction, and not a braxton hick. I also knew what the pain was going to be like (and that I could get through it!).

• Linked with above, I knew what worked for me and my body. Gas and air really helped. Sitting/laying made the pain a lot worse - so bouncing on a ball was out the question. I also knew I hated being touched. If anyone tried to rub my back I whacked them away and told them to leave me alone haha. I feel I knew how to manage the pain better as I could just do the things that worked for me.

• I was more confident to ask questions and do what I wanted. As a first time mum you usually listen to the doctors/midwives as you assume they know best. However the second time I had clear points that I wanted (water birth, skin-to-skin, etc), and was more vocal about getting them! 

Parker was born in the pool. I then had immediate skin-to-skin ready for breastfeeding!

These are just a handful of reasons, and I'm sure there are more. I've asked fellow bloggers whether they'd like to share their experiences too, to see just how different births can be.

Emma from Mama P and Little Me had a very similar experience to me.

"With my first I had lots of intervention and very little progress. I had my waters broke, they hooked me up to a drip, I was exhausted and went for an epidural to get some rest. With my legs round my ears I had two midwives yelling 'push!' and finally Austin arrived after 38 hours.  

My second was totally different. 90 minutes from my waters going on their own and contractions starting to having him in my arms with only gas and air and nobody telling me when to push! I went into a bit of shock afterwards though as it all happened a bit too quick!" 

Victoria at Mummy to my Cheeky Little Monkey also had a long first birth.

"James' birth was long! I started in slow labour on 19th August and didn't go into established labour till early hours of August 26th! James was born at 4.34pm. From being 10cm to James arriving was 34 minutes resulting in me  having a tear and needing general anaesthetic for the repair. 

With Freddie I found out at 39 weeks I could have elective c-section as I had a high risk of having another tear. Best decision I could have made as his birth was so lovely and controlled. I got all the skin-to-skin contact that I never got the first time. I actually feel like I have recovered better from section than I did from James birth".

Sian who blogs at Quite Frankly She Said had an induction for her first labour

"My first was a horrible, long induction. 46 hours, all the drugs, ending in emcs and a J incision, and 5 days in scbu. Second was an awesome v-bac. No drugs, 3 hour labour, and home a couple of hours later. Couldn't have been more different!

Abigail, who blogs at Lily Mae Adventures has recently given birth to her second baby, a beautiful boy! Sending her HUGE congratulations.

"On paper my labours should have been pretty similar. Both were inductions for the same reason at the exact same gestation (38w). However the two labours couldn't have been more different. My first induction was long, tense and I had all the drugs going including an epidural. I had a bad reaction to my induction pessary and spent more of my labour vomiting than I did focussing on my breathing, and the baby kept getting distressed, so it was all very stressful.  

My second labour I went into it feeling more relaxed with a 'what will be, will be' attitude, and this definitely helped. The whole labour was intense but super fast and I went from 2cm to fully dialated within an hour with no time for pain relief. Although much more painful this time round I'm pleased I managed to avoid pain relief as the recovery was much smoother and we were out of hospital and back home within 24 hours" 

So as you can see, every birth truly is different. Don't be afraid just because your first birth wasn't straight forward, as you're most likely going to have a completely different experience! Just go into it feeling positive, knowing you can do it, and that no matter what happens you'll have your beautiful baby in your arms.

How did your labours/births differ? What do you think made the difference?

My Birth Story | Parker John

I still cannot believe my baby boy is here and just how amazing his labour and delivery was. I thought it was finally time to share the story with you (I've filmed a more detailed version which you can watch too!).

Sunday 2nd August 
We had spent the whole weekend walking, cleaning, preparing and enjoying time as a family of 3. Sunday evening I started getting period pains that were coming and going in waves. They got worse throughout the night - the hot water bottle wasn't working, I couldn't sleep and I was sick - I really thought this was the start of something.

Monday 3rd August
After finally getting to sleep Sunday night I woke up and most of the pains were gone, I was just left with a few aches and pains. I spend the whole day doing absolutely nothing (Indiana was at nursery) and catching up on sleep.

Tuesday 4th August
I woke at 5am to my waters trickling. It wasn't much but I knew it wasn't nothing! I put a pad on and got back into bed and told Jack. We called triage around 9am who said if nothing had happened since it was probably nothing; so Jack went to work and we carried on as usual.

Just before 1pm I went to the toilet and I'd had my bloody show - a sign something was happening at least haha - and then not long after, I lost a lot more of my waters (there was no denying it this time)! I got Jack home from work and we went into triage to get things checked over.

I'd not had any pains since so we weren't worried. They offered us a scan while we were there, as there was a group of trainee midwives who needed volunteers haha. They measured my fluid levels and according to the main midwife she didn't think they had gone; it may have been my hind waters. However when I went to get properly checked they went again all over the bed! As I wasn't in labour they booked me in for an induction and sent us on our way.

By 3pm we were back at Gemma's (my sister who was my second birth partner) and within half an hour my contractions started. They were ALL in my back and never went around to my belly throughout my whole labour. They started around 6/7 minutes apart and by 5pm were every 3-5 minutes lasting around a minute! Indiana was collected by Jack's parents at 6.30pm and that's when they became a lot more intense.

I was now making noises throughout each contraction so I knew things were progressing a lot faster than with Indiana. I got in the bath around 7/7.30pm which did help but not massively. By this point they were coming as close as 1/2 minutes apart and lasting a minute - and bloody painful!! We decided to go into hospital at this point as things were going SO fast.

We arrived at 8.15 and I was checked pretty quickly (after the midwife tried to get me to do a urine sample!). I was 6cm dilated but she said she could stretch me to 8cm! I was given gas and air finally and we were wheeled over to the delivery suite where I got the pool room I wanted. I had to wait for it to fill up though which was the longest wait of my life!

Since arriving at hospital I was getting loads of pressure in my bum; by the time we got to the room I felt like I needed to push. I will admit I was screaming in pain at this point and almost accidental broke Jack's finger haha. I was hanging over the back of the bed where I begged for the epidural - yes I know how dramatic haha - but there really wasn't time.

I finally made it into the pool and within two contractions our baby boy was born. Once in the pool I really got into the zone and was much more focused. The sensation of pushing is the strangest thing I've ever experienced and they don't lie about the 'ring of fire' haha. His arm came out next to his head so I did suffer a 2nd degree tear; but honestly that has felt like nothing compared to the episiotomy I had with Indiana!

Parker was born in the pool at 9.30pm after just 12 minutes of pushing and Jack got to cut the cord. It was the most painful but also the most amazing experience, and I'm so glad I got the birth I wanted. He latched on really well and wasn't the huge boy we were expecting, weighing 8lb 9oz.

He's now 2 weeks old and I can't believe it.  It's gone even faster than my pregnancy - if you missed my weekly updates you can find them all here!

How different were your labours? Parker's birth was completely different to Indiana's!

My Birth Preferences - Labour For The Second Time

Now I'm classed as full-term I've been thinking more and more about the birth, and how I want it to be. Being a second time mum I know that plans don't always go the way you want or expect them to. If you've read Indiana's labour story you'll know I had a pretty rough time; 32 hours, not progressing, ventouse delivery followed by high levels of blood loss - not exactly the 'perfect' birth.

This time instead of writing a birth plan I've just told Jack the things I DO want to happen, and written preferences instead of a structured plan.

Water Birth - I really want to try a water birth this time instead of being laid on the hospital bed. When I was in labour with Indiana I remember laying in my mums bath whilst people were talking to me. Although the pain didn't disappear completely, it did help. I also loved how weightless and relaxed it made me recently at the Spa, which has made me want to try it even more. After reading other people's water birth stories I'm even more excited to try, so fingers crossed this can happen!

Jack To Cut The Cord - With having a ventouse delivery it meant there was a doctor in the room helping me out. Once Indiana was born he cut the cord himself, and no one even asked us who we wanted to do it. This time I really want Jack to be the one to do it; it's such a special moment that I feel was taken away from us last time.

Immediate Skin-To-Skin - I actually got this with Indiana, she was born straight onto my chest. It was such a special moment and one I want to experience again. I'm wanting to try breastfeeding this time as well and I know this really helps towards it.

No Hospital Visitors - I know this is technically after the birth, but it's something I feel really strongly about this time. I felt really unwell after Indiana was born, but felt as if it was our duty to let people into visit us. I was unable to really move, in my PJS and looking horrible - not exactly how I want people to see me! This time we're hoping to be in and out as quickly as possible anyway, but the only person I want to visit us at the hospital is of course Indiana. I think this will also be a lovely time for Jack and I to spend some quality time with baby boy, before we're thrown into life as a family of 4!

That's about it for the main things I really want. From previous experience I know I have to go with how I'm feeling at the time. I'm not dismissing any pain relief apart from pethidine (personal preference) and I will accept help if it's necessary. Most people have said that second labours are quicker - anything less than 2 days will be good with me haha - but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.